A-Hole of the Week

Vinny Vincenz on 1st ave has one of my favorite lunch specials. A slice of their awesome plain pizza and a salad or soup of the day for $5.

I was enjoying my lunch special when a patron sat down with two slices and a soda. An employee walked over to him and informed him...

Employee: Sir, you accidently gave me the wrong amount.
A-Hole: What? No I didn't.
Emp: You gave me $4.50, two slices and a soda is $5.75
A-Hole: WHAT? Are you serious? The sign outside says the lunch special is 2 slices and a soda for $4.50.
Emp: I don't think so sir, we've never had that before.
A-Hole: Oh so the prices have gone up, I'm not going to come back here. It's on the sign, I read it when I walked in.

(Emp walks outside and checks sign)

Emp: I'm sorry sir, there's no special like that.
A-Hole: I'm not going to come back here, this is ridiculous.
Emp: Don't worry about it, just remember for next time.
A-Hole: NO! You want to raise prices? I put .75 cents in the tip jar. Take that out and I'll get the rest. Take it out of the tip jar!

(A-Hole walks to tip jar, takes out money and hands it to him. Sits down then gives me a look like: Can you believe these guys?!)

I refrained from delivering a smart rymark... With the hope that one day I might randomly have the opportunity to be a guest in his house, proceed to the bathroom and hit an Upper Decker. If you don't know what an Upper Decker is, it's something reserved for A-Hole's like that.

PONG!

Reconnected

The weather on Sunday was pretty bad. It was the type of day where you stay inside and eat hot food in your sweats and hoodie. Well I was definitely rocking the latter at 3:45pm on my way to Sullivan st for improv practice. I get a text message and quickly respond before I pay the cab driver. I'm early, so I hit the Peanut Butter & Co.

I order:
The Elvis
A grilled peanut Butter sandwich, stuffed with bananas and honey. Try it with bacon for that extra indulgence. Long live the King!

I obviously got it with bacon. And a big ass glass of milk. Time Check. Wait, where's my phone? I don't feel them in my sweats... Frack me. Wow. It fell out of my pocket, in the cab.

Fast Forward >>> Monday morning: I still can't get in touch with my phone. I leave my apartment, try again in the afternoon and it goes straight to voicemail. Battery must be dead. Peace out. I stop at the 770 office to use a phone to call Verizon. An hour and a half later I've been Swingled into a new Blackberry 8703e.

45 seconds after I hangup with Verizon, my little brother IMs me.

SeanWillard2: Did you get my message?
EspioRyan: (as I check my voicemail) No, my phone's dead. I don't hear a voicemail from you. What's up?
SeanWillard2: No, on your instant messenger (in my apt)... It said I called your phone and talked to the cab driver, here's his number...

How's that for timing. What would you do? I personally love a good 'coincidence'. I say go with the flow; follow the path that's been so simply laid out for you.

I've been disconnected for about 36 hours. Being unplugged has given me some time to do some thinking while not worrying about communicating. It holds a certain freedom I hope to continue to exercise after my brand new Crackberry officially jacks me into the Matrix.

If I had my phone right now I'd be talking to my friend DL in Cali about an idea I have about an idea we have. But I can't, so I'm writing stuff instead. Going with the flow.

A change of pace is always fun on a Monday. It sets up an interesting week.

The Canal Room 3/12/07

Phenom rolled up to my apartment around 8. We started the pregame on my roof, enjoying the view and appreciating the fact that we were doing the same thing we've been doing since HS.

We stopped for dinner at Vinny Vincens on 14th and 1st. Phenom had never been but it didn't take much to convince him that this was some of the best pizza in the area. After a couple beers and some slices of pepperoni and Scillian, we hopped a cab to the Canal Room.

Last night the Canal Room became one of my favorite venues. The lighting instantly set the mood; it was dark with colored lights brightening up areas. The bartender was friendly, she made great drinks and as my Uncle Steve would say, "easy on the eyes." The room was filled with rows of leather couches and booths with candle lit tables in front of them. The seats were filled with couples who seemed ready to steal 2nd base.

I spotted a section that seemed open; two seats at the end of a row in the middle of the floor. We attacked.

Phenom: Excuse me, are these seats taken?
Dude: No… Yes, but no, not really. But like, someone might kick you out. This section is reserved. I dunno. But yes these seats aren't taken.
Mr. Brightside: Thanks. (puts coat down) We'll take our chances.

It turns out the section had been reserved by the owner of the Canal Room. And he was sitting right next to us.

Jay Nash started his set. I'd never heard of him but was extremely impressed. He's a simple 'country bumpkin' with some slick guitar skills and a unique voice. I especially liked how he'd make cordial and polite smart ass remarks towards disrespectful audience members. His sets were infused with small but witty jokes that probably went over the majority of the audience. Before he starts his 3rd song he calls up a cello player and requests the presence of the headliner, Amber Rubarth.

The girl sitting directly in front of us stands up and walks on stage. So we were sitting next to the owner of the venue and the headliner of the show. Nice.

Amber Rubarth eventually takes the stage for her set, her music is simple, sweet and honest. I dug it. The story of how she got to be where she is now is captivating. Paired with her strong presence and acoustic sound, Amber held the audience in silence. And then I saw the owner of the Canal Room with a box of Dunkin Donuts. And then he offered us some. It doesn't get much better than that.

Phenom believes the only way to judge a musical artist is by seeing them live in concert. Considering how much my opinion swayed after my experience at the Canal Room, I think it's safe to say he's right.

Check out Amber Rubarth and Jay Nash at SXSW if you're lucky enough, or back here in NYC at the Living Room on April 9th!

(ps) Amber Rubarth makes custom carved cases for certain copies of her CD's. She's quite the artist.

Monberged.

Mon*berg*ed - /skrud/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciati [muhn-berg-ed] Pronunciation Key
–adjective: adapted from the term, Lumberged from the film Office Space.

1.	Getting called by your boss on Sunday and being told you have to be in early on Monday.

2.	Starting the week off on the wrong foot.

3.	Having your weekend cut short because of events taking place on Monday.

4.	Slang. bilked; cheated.

On Sunday I lost an hour of sleep and THEN got Monberged... But it's cool because the show I'm working on and my producers kick a lot of ass.

Happy Monday Mother Frackers.

How to...

How to make Ryan jealous:

Say hi to him outside of 770 Broadway, while it's snowing. Inform him that the equipment you're carrying is on it's way to Cancun, along with yourself because you're meeting the rest of the MTV crew down there to shoot Spring Break...

Unwrap a Triple Chocolate Twix bar in front of him and don't share.

Wave to him from behind the plate at Yankee Stadium.

Wield a sword among an evil doer, then don't apologize after severing a limb.

Call him from California and tell him what the weather's like. (while you're standing in line at In-N-Out burger)

Hang out with a member of his family.

Obtain a Virtual Reality machine for your basement. Put it in between the the Family Guy pinball machine and the Skeeball lane.

Tell him about the time you made out with Emmanuelle Chriqui.

300

I was lucky enough to hit an IMAX press screening of 300. As a reviewer I'd describe myself as a half film snob/half 15 year old nerd. I know it's not about what's good and what's bad, it's about what you enjoy. A "bad film" can easily be a "really fucking cool movie!"

300
You should know what you're getting into before you buy your tickets to 300. It's visually stunning and entertaining but clearly not in the same league as Gladiator, Lord of the Rings or Braveheart. It's more like Troy meets Sin City. With that in mind, you'll enjoy this movie more.

300 is like sex for your eyeballs. The cinematography and direction are the stars of this movie, it's like watching a live comic book. There are plenty of jaw dropping shots; the choreography and battles are top shelf. Those Spartans kick some serious ass. This movie is extremely fun to watch and is absolutely recommended on the big screen.





The story is simple. A Persian messenger travels to Sparta to offer King Leonidas the chance to bow before Xerxes (a powerful, crazy tyrant) to avoid his people's annihilation. He declines and kicks the messenger and his body guard down a bottomless pit. The King's elders and politicians refuse to support his war so King Leonidas takes 300 of his best soldiers and leads them to stand against the million+ Persian army.

The plot isn't rich or complex but doesn't try to be. There seems to be some commentary on our country's war on terror... Which is a fun bonus. But the plot's not thick and the characters aren't especially strong or interesting so you don't really care when certain people die. But that's not what this movie is about; 300 is about standing up for what you believe no matter the odds. It's about not caring what people say and kicking some well deserved ass! 300 is a Roller Coaster flick: exciting and fun but once you're off it doesn't leave you with too much.

How to trick your girlfriend into seeing this: "It's actually a love story; it revolves around King Leonidas' decision to go to war to protect the love of his life, his queen. There's also 300 ripped up Spartans running around in speedos and capes."

Ana's Mixtape

Wednesdays are often referred to as Humpday. It's a climax to the week, Getting there's the easy part, getting through is the challenge. Luckily a good friend from HS sent me a sweet mixtape. Here's the playlist in case you want to check it out. Rock on Ana

1) There she goes again - The Velvet Underground
2) To be young - Ryan Adams
3) New Jersey Malls - Washington Social Club
4) That's just what you are - Aimee Mann
5) Let me go - Cake
6) Judy and the dream of horses - Belle & Sebastian
7) California - Rufus Wainright
8) Common People - Pulp
9) Dandy del sur - Nortec Collective
10) This isn't farmlife - The Essex Green
11) A song for our fathers - Explosions in the Sky
12) Limony sal - Julieta Venegas
13) Fidelity - Regina Spektor
14) And she was - Talking Heads
15) Any way you want me - Spiritualized
16) Carry around - Annuals
17) Wake up - The Arcade Fire
18) Free - Cat Power
19) All these things that I've done - The Killers